“Then he comes home
And he takes me in his loving arms
And he tells me all his troubles
And he tells me all my charms”
Joni Mitchell
And you know what, Joni had it right. There is a classical positive technique of reminding someone who they are at their best. And most importantly when you give that gift to someone, it reinforces in them who they are BUT it also reinforces and reminds you of that persons amazing qualities. It reminds you of why, in a relationship, you fell in love with that person in the first place.
Now you can’t do this if you are not in an emotionally aware place yourself. I love to talk about emotions like they are layers of the earth. Why? Because it makes sense. We have over the years just like the crust of the earth built layers of history. In the emotional analogy it is layers of emotional experiences of love or not, that make us who we are. And unless we have an awareness of how that has shaped us then we are not in a position to give the gift of true connection to someone else.
So this is about taking the richness of our experience and creating a rich diverse landscape for our relationship for love with shared values, meaning, rituals, culture that has a nod to sharing dreams and that is respectful of each others perspective and thinking.
So let’s leave the last words to Joni:
“People will tell you where they have gone,
they’ll tell you where to go,
but until you get there for yourself
you never really know”
Embrace your experiences. And bring the positive outtakes to your interactions. And love will find you.
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